Eighteen days till Christmas, and the sum of my outdoors is dirt lined with nettle and pokeweed baking brittle under a fat Kenyan sun. I miss December’s trappings, the reds and golds and glittery whites. The nutmeg and cranberries and cocoa. Caroling. Mistletoe. Portly snowmen and the resinous scent of balsam.
None of this adds up to Actual Christmas, I know, but it turns out I’m a creature of nostalgia and twinkle lights.
The choir sang this morning, a humble tune I don’t remember much of, save for small bits: Jina la Mwokozi. Furaha ya mbinguni. Tumaini ya watu.
The Savior’s name. Joy of heaven. Hope of people.
When I blink slowly enough to get my eyes off of me, God hands me a glimpse of Him again: the High King come as a peasant child, all that glory stuffed in sinew and skin. I have to think Christ was nostalgic for home, but He lived and moved and died for the pleasure of the Father and a wild, irrational love for His people.
And I find myself praying He’ll quicken my spirit, awaken it to the ongoing miracle of God Come Near. And His stars dust glitter on my shoulders, and the wind sings of holy, silent nights, and it’s Actual Christmas, the one where Christ comes for my heart.
O w e n s t o A f r i c a 
i too am a creature of nostalgia and twinkle lights.
this is beautiful, you are beautiful.
expectant of actual christmas with you, jesus come.
xoxo
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Great to hear, as always. You take me there with your words.
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This pierced my heart! When I blink slow enough to get my eyes off of me… Whoosh!
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Oh, the way you always goose-bump me up.
“And I find myself praying He’ll quicken my spirit, awaken it to the ongoing miracle of God Come Near.” Needed this tonight.
Love you.
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I’m not exactly sure how I landed on your blog but I did. As I read your most recent post, this post, I scrolled down and found myself looking at a picture of children I know. This past October my husband and I were in Kijabi working at Mama Beth’s Feeding Program and loving on the kids at Kiambogo Primary School. We fell in love, as I’m sure most do, with the Rift Valley and the people of Keyna ~ specifically Kijabi. While we were there we stayed at Moffat Bible College Guest House. We plan on returning hopefully next year. I will definitely be keeping you, your family and all the lives you touch in Kijabi in my prayers. Sending you lots of love and joy this holiday season. I daydream about being there for Christmas with those children. ~ Susan
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