we’ve been doing our neighborhood walks first thing, while the day is pale and new, each street a sanctuary of trees and waking sun. seems every year our summer vacation gets skinnier: in less than a month’s time the small folk will roll on back to school.
todd’s been gone again this week, and while we manage fine during our waking hours, i rarely sleep well without him. we’ve done the library, dozens of board games at home, raspberried pudding, origami, a couple living-room sleepovers, and driving to or from the sports park fourteen times for B’s soccer conditioning. (i’m not sure about B, but the van is pretty tired.)
when it comes to what lies ahead–in kenya and beyond–i thought i’d yet to be gutted by fear. because really, quaking in my boots only happens when danger’s close enough to kiss. right now any personal loss is hypothetical, so instead of adrenaline-coursing-fright i drum up a dozen Worst Case Scenarios that leave me half-choked with their possibility. but i’m seeing that this grief over maybes and what-thens is just a wetter version of afraid.
at candidate week down in georgia, they ran the whole flock of us starry eyed future missionaries through a seminar that they called Risk Assessment and i called The Many Ways We Can Die in Africa. i wasn’t worried about it, except if i thought too long about our kids.
“Sometimes when you are called to obey, the fear does not subside and you are expected to move by faith against the fear. One must choose to do it afraid.”
but i know that God is alive in and sovereign over every last inch of this earth. and maybe He’ll spare us that drink of suffering and maybe He won’t, but at the end of the day we’ll be His, and in any case i’m asking Him to keep us in the middle of knowing He’s worth it.
* * *
would you pray with us this week:
-for patience and wisdom and the right mix of grace&accountability with our youngest
-for renewed energy for the adults in this equation
-for us to joyfully yield to the Holy Spirit’s leadership
-for our missions partnership meetings, that we’ll pin our hearts to our sleeves and love the people we meet with well
and now you: how can we be praying for you today?
praying indeed for the journey as it unfolds. love to you from iowa. xoxo
thank you, kim. it’s so very good to be walking this life with folks like you by our side.
Keeping you in my prayers, of course. Lots and lots of love.
right back atcha, my girl. praying esp for next wednesday. God’s got this!
The Many Ways We Can Die in Africa– ah how I remember that session and the kleenex that they so conveniently placed on our tables before that time! i love the quote and i love your thoughts regarding it afterwards. we are truly His.
i hope your prep is going well. when i have one of my breaks from teaching, i get to visit other missionaries or do what i please. reunion in kijabe?
love and prayers from DE.
i know! the kleenex! that was our first clue something was up. 🙂
how are you doing with prepping for kenya? t-minus five months and counting…so excited for you, and YES to a reunion in kijabe!
so appreciate your honesty. what you are expressing is the real. must say that raspberry pudding looks very inviting! thanks for sharing your prayers so we can agree with you two. “for us to joyfully yield to the Holy Spirit’s leadership.” that joy is where it’s at. that’s were i would like to grow, too, if you think of me in prayer. may your energies be renewed and filled with patience, wisdom, and the joy and freedom of obedience to our great Spirit of Truth. love.
“maybe He’ll spare us that drink of suffering and maybe He won’t, but at the end of the day we’ll be His, and in any case i’m asking Him to keep us in the middle of knowing He’s worth it.”
Love this! Praying nonetheless that He spares you and He is worth it!