we’ve been doing our neighborhood walks first thing, while the day is pale and new, each street a sanctuary of trees and waking sun. seems every year our summer vacation gets skinnier: in less than a month’s time the small folk will roll on back to school.
todd’s been gone again this week, and while we manage fine during our waking hours, i rarely sleep well without him. we’ve done the library, dozens of board games at home, raspberried pudding, origami, a couple living-room sleepovers, and driving to or from the sports park fourteen times for B’s soccer conditioning. (i’m not sure about B, but the van is pretty tired.)
when it comes to what lies ahead–in kenya and beyond–i thought i’d yet to be gutted by fear. because really, quaking in my boots only happens when danger’s close enough to kiss. right now any personal loss is hypothetical, so instead of adrenaline-coursing-fright i drum up a dozen Worst Case Scenarios that leave me half-choked with their possibility. but i’m seeing that this grief over maybes and what-thens is just a wetter version of afraid.
at candidate week down in georgia, they ran the whole flock of us starry eyed future missionaries through a seminar that they called Risk Assessment and i called The Many Ways We Can Die in Africa. i wasn’t worried about it, except if i thought too long about our kids.
“Sometimes when you are called to obey, the fear does not subside and you are expected to move by faith against the fear. One must choose to do it afraid.”
but i know that God is alive in and sovereign over every last inch of this earth. and maybe He’ll spare us that drink of suffering and maybe He won’t, but at the end of the day we’ll be His, and in any case i’m asking Him to keep us in the middle of knowing He’s worth it.
* * *
would you pray with us this week:
-for patience and wisdom and the right mix of grace&accountability with our youngest
-for renewed energy for the adults in this equation
-for us to joyfully yield to the Holy Spirit’s leadership
-for our missions partnership meetings, that we’ll pin our hearts to our sleeves and love the people we meet with well
and now you: how can we be praying for you today?